Monday, am I right?

I was enjoying the best night sleep I’ve had in a while when I feel my phone buzzing. It’s M, the woman I babysit for. At first I think, “excellent, she’s calling to tell me to go back to sleep. She doesn’t need me this morning because she’s not going to work.” But then I look at the time. 5:49am. Shit. My alarm was supposed to go off at 5:05am. I should have been there at least 5 minutes by now. Why didn’t it go off? How did I sleep through it? “My alarm never went off, I’m on my way!”

Now I’m completely frazzled. It’s 5:49am. I stop in the bathroom, I have to pee like you wouldn’t believe. I look at myself in the mirror. My hair is all over the place. My “I wish you were pizza” pajamas will have to cut it. I spray some dry shampoo in my hair, pour some mouthwash in my mouth, skip the pee, kiss my husband goodbye and I’m out the door.

Today is the day I hit every single fucking light you could imagine. Red lights 1, 2, 3 through 6. Doesn’t the universe know I’m in a rush? After 11 minutes, I  pull into the apartment complex. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” There’s no parking spaces. Oh, just kidding! There’s one at the very end. At this point it’s 6:02. I should have been here at 5:45. I run up to the door. My head is pounding and my hands are sweaty. “Hi, I’m so sorry! I don’t know how that happened.”

“It’s okay.” said M, “see you tomorrow.”

The girls wake up until 7:15. I’m going to close my eyes for just… a… bit…

It’s me, again.

Every few years I decide I need to (re)start blogging. Usually it’s when I feel like I’m stuck. Whether I’m stuck in my own head, in my career (or lack there of), or in life. This particular time it happens to be a combination all three.

I’m twenty-eight. I just got married three months ago. It was one of the happiest days of my life, as I knew it would be. But, just like everyone warned me, it goes by so fast. Faster than I ever dreamed it would. All that time, energy, and not mention: money, that goes in to ONE day.

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Alexander & Janine – October 15, 2016

I quit my job at the end of October. I have a part-time gig.. I have been babysitting two girls for almost five years now. They’re six and eight. They have this wonderful way of keeping me on my toes. But, it’s not enough.

I’ve been dealing with this terrible on again off again vertigo. Sometimes it’s violent and room spinning, other times it’s just an off-balance and light-headed feeling. Maybe it’s brought on by stress and anxiety. Maybe it’s migraine related. Maybe it’s an inner ear condition. I have had three different doctors tell me three different things. Every time I think I have it figured out (i.e., medication, food triggers), it’s back with a vengeance. Why am I rambling on about my vertigo? Because it’s changed me. I feel like a different person. It has been over a year and I’m constantly afraid. “I can’t go, I’m afraid I’ll get vertigo.” Not really the way anyone should be living their life, right? Anyway, I just figured you needed a little background. A look into the neuroses you’ll come to know and appreciate.

The point of all this was to get my feelings and thoughts into words. There is no sense sitting around in bed all day thinking about it. It’s time I get the fuck up and do something. They say it’s mind over matter. So, I signed up for a portrait photography course. I was a Photography Major, after all. It’s time to get refreshed and back out there!

I’ll leave you with some photos I took while at the beach with my husband this past weekend. xo

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Alex – Skim Boarding

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Rogers Beach – West Hampton

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Rogers Beach – West Hampton

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Rogers Beach – West Hampton